drew wrote this. and i love it.
it made me weep. but it's amazing.
Monday, May 3, 2010
tag
While I actually do have something really awesome and exciting to write about, it's kind of ruined by the huge, terrible, heart-breaking thing that's happening.
I love him too much to have to say goodbye, which is exactly what I had to do this morning.
As I write this and look at his happy face in photos, my eyes prick with tears and the back of my throat feels tight. I feel like my heart breaks every time I think of it, of him, and of what happened, what will happen on Thursday.
This morning, I put my face next to his and cried. I squeezed his black and white paws, all four of them, one at a time, and wept into his soft black coat. He didn't know why I was so sad, but I figure that's for the best. I can't bear the thought of him knowing what is to come. He sat up proudly, and I rubbed his white chest because I know how much he likes that. He leaned his head into my neck, as if to say, Don't cry, Kate, I love you too much! and I just held on for couple minutes and let my tears fall, forgetting all about the fact that I had just done my make up for work. I whispered, "I love you" over and over, and I told him I was so sorry.
I hope that's enough.
He was always so much more than just our pet. I loved him so dearly. Still do.
And that's why my heart hurts.
Now Playing: Didn't Want to Say Goodbye | Ari Hest
I love him too much to have to say goodbye, which is exactly what I had to do this morning.
As I write this and look at his happy face in photos, my eyes prick with tears and the back of my throat feels tight. I feel like my heart breaks every time I think of it, of him, and of what happened, what will happen on Thursday.
This morning, I put my face next to his and cried. I squeezed his black and white paws, all four of them, one at a time, and wept into his soft black coat. He didn't know why I was so sad, but I figure that's for the best. I can't bear the thought of him knowing what is to come. He sat up proudly, and I rubbed his white chest because I know how much he likes that. He leaned his head into my neck, as if to say, Don't cry, Kate, I love you too much! and I just held on for couple minutes and let my tears fall, forgetting all about the fact that I had just done my make up for work. I whispered, "I love you" over and over, and I told him I was so sorry.
I hope that's enough.
He was always so much more than just our pet. I loved him so dearly. Still do.
And that's why my heart hurts.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
no mouth-breathers allowed
so, i think i have allergies. that, or a sinus infection.i can't breathe. my head hurts with sinus pressure. my lips are chapped. my nose is raw. (it's sick.)
i'm a mouth-breather.
do you realize how depressing that is? ugh. i disgust myself.in other, unrelated news, i'm watching season 2 of the oc.
i just finished season 1 of true blood, but i jumped back onto the oc train. unfortuantely for gilmore girls season 1 and for myself, i won't have time to watch season 1 of gilmore girls. timing of these things is so important. I hate that i'm only allowed one week for videos from the lib. ruuude. don't they know that it takes more than a week to watch an entire season of a tv show? doesn't the library understand that not everyone can sit in front of the tv all day and watch endless hours of the tv show in question?! MY LIFE IS SO HARD.in my queue at the library, i have season 2 of true blood (which has yet to be released, btw. AND i'm 76 of 77 holds. basically, i'll get it next year. sounds great!), party of five season 3, season 1 of dexter, season 1 of the tudors and season 3 of the oc on hold. i am gonna be so busy.
back to the oc i go. back to laying on the couch in my own sickness. back to being a lowly mouth-breather.
xoxo
ps. i still hate marissa.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
miscounted
when i was working at ada yesterday, i got bored and started flipping through my planner. it was then i realized just how long it's been since i've even spoken to the person who had been my one constant for many, many years. when i counted, i must have counted wrong because i originally thought it had been eight weeks. but it's really only been six.
can that be right? how can that be? how can it still hurt? how can it still feel like the hole in my chest is gaping? it feels like a flesh wound that won't heal. despite me trying to take care of it, it doesn't go away. how can i still feel the air sucked out of my lungs when i think about it? when will this go away? when will i stop hurting?
i'm sorry i'm such a downer lately. i'm really trying not to be. it's just really hard. still.
now playing:
can that be right? how can that be? how can it still hurt? how can it still feel like the hole in my chest is gaping? it feels like a flesh wound that won't heal. despite me trying to take care of it, it doesn't go away. how can i still feel the air sucked out of my lungs when i think about it? when will this go away? when will i stop hurting?
i'm sorry i'm such a downer lately. i'm really trying not to be. it's just really hard. still.
now playing:
Thursday, March 18, 2010
"...more than one innocent life can be spared!"
harry potter is on abc family right now.
if you're my mother, you would ask "which one?" and i would respond, "3. prisoner of azkaban."
i had to add azkaban to my phone's t9 dictionary (yeah, my phone is old and doesn't have a keyboard. i'm lame.). i'm hoping that i'll use the word azkaban enough that my phone won't forget the word. but, then again, my LG shine is weird and likes to remember words i never use and put them in sentences regularly (e.g. "i have to go to rehab" when i wanted to say "i have to go to toledo"), so maybe i'll get lucky and instead of suggesting i go to rehab, it will tell me to visit azkaban. maybe that's unlucky... that's a prison. hm. interesting.
anyway. yeah. harry potter's on mute while i do my stats homework. my exam is going to rape me. not excited.
my intention was that this entry would be one line. see? brevity just isn't my thing.
that one line i was gonna write was this: i hate that sirius dies.
now playing:
if you're my mother, you would ask "which one?" and i would respond, "3. prisoner of azkaban."
anyway. yeah. harry potter's on mute while i do my stats homework. my exam is going to rape me. not excited.my intention was that this entry would be one line. see? brevity just isn't my thing.
that one line i was gonna write was this: i hate that sirius dies.
now playing:
Friday, March 12, 2010
tfpn: texts from punctuation nerds
the following conversation occurred via text on March 9, 2010
drew: so i am a comma fiend
me: i believe it.
drew: like i went through an essay and was like wtf why are you here at least twice
me: yeah i love commas. they're so OMG CHILD ON A LEASH
drew: nice
me: yeah. anyway. i love commas. they're just so great. but i love semicolons even more. they're the best.
drew: semi colons if you know how to use them are amazing
me: andrew, do not ever even for one second entertain the idea that i do not not know how to use punctuation. rude.
drew: i wasn't. i was afraid to use punctuation in my last text because i know you would own me
omg my family is awesome! (NERD ALERT!!!)
now playing:
drew: so i am a comma fiendme: i believe it.
drew: like i went through an essay and was like wtf why are you here at least twice
me: yeah i love commas. they're so OMG CHILD ON A LEASH
drew: nice
me: yeah. anyway. i love commas. they're just so great. but i love semicolons even more. they're the best.
drew: semi colons if you know how to use them are amazing
me: andrew, do not ever even for one second entertain the idea that i do not not know how to use punctuation. rude.drew: i wasn't. i was afraid to use punctuation in my last text because i know you would own me
omg my family is awesome! (NERD ALERT!!!)
now playing:
Thursday, March 11, 2010
ch-ch-ch-chaaaaanges
you say that i've changed
well, maybe i did
but even if i changed,
what's wrong with it?
// third eye blind
It's incredible to me the change that has occurred since... oh, well, about May, I suppose.
Obviously, things change. it's inevitable, and usually change is generally a good thing. Even when it seems impossible, there's always some little ray of light that lets you know that you'll make it out alive. If you're lucky, you'll see the sweet silver lining while you're still in the middle of it, still a part of the transition. At the very least, you'll see it as you look back on the old you, and you realize that all of the trouble was worth it because you made it to the other side just a little bit smarter, tougher, braver, stronger, happier....
I suppose I could recap the huge things that have made me who I am now, the things that I can actually pinpoint as an event that has impacted me within the last year. These events strike me because they were all hard. I usually can hear my mind telling me this little pearl of truth whenever I think something's scary, or hard, or bad, or it feels like a worse that feels too big: "it's not brave if you're not scared."
Last March, (which is, incidentally, about the time I began blogging...?), was a time of great loss. I hadn't experienced the type of loss that I encountered at that time previously in my life. The only person I was close to who passed away was my aunt, and I was in seventh grade when that happened. Not that that loss didn't hurt or was any less important (because that is something extremely significant as well), I just wasn't at an age or time in my life that I could actually live through the grief as an adult and cognitively process loss as I did at age 21. Within about a week of each other, my roommate's mother and my grandpa both passed away. Never in my life had I experienced the overwhelming feelings of sadness, helplessness and grief as I did last March. Loss changes a person.
Graduation. What a monumental experience. In the moment, I
didn't feel different; I didn't feel like a college graduate. Sure enough, though, the realization eventually sunk in that my friends would move away, we would grow up, get jobs, and start our real lives. It sunk in that I wouldn't be returning to the safe haven of friends, fun, an psuedo-real-life that college had been for four of the best years of my life. It was over.
Getting my first job out of college was... an adventure. It was something I ended up completely hating and being a complete mistake. I learned from it, though; I learned what I didn't want to do.
I moved away from the town I'd lived in (practically) my whole life. (Okay, so I still come home every chance I get, but it still counts.) I moved to a town where I knew no one. I had never felt so alone in my life. On top of still trying to figure out what life was to be post-graduation, dealing with the deep emotional effects my job was having on me, and living in a town where I knew no one, it is no wonder I felt depressed.
I started my MBA. I love school. I truly love being a student. I complain about the homework and how "lame" classes are, but I really do love it. And I'm actually doing really, really, really well in school. It was one of those shining lights in the darkness from which it seemed I would never emerge.
Switching jobs was probably the turning point, the time when I started to feel like myself again. I was welcomed into a company that encourages professional development and offers growth opportunities, I joined a team of people who made me know what it feels like to be valued and appreciated, and I started to feel good at something again. It's definitely not what I see myself doing in the long run, but, for now, it's okay.
I have made a few friends in my new town. I love the people I work with, and I meet new people in every class I take. I don't hang out a whole lot with these new people but that could be just because I come back home any time I have a free moment outside of work and school.
I feel closer to my family than I ever have before. I can't imagine life without any one of them; my obnoxious brothers, my loving parents (all three of them), my wacky grandma, and my supportive extended family have done nothing but encourage me and provide unyielding love and support.
Lastly, I suppose, the change I'm most recently trying to cope with is the grief and sense of loss I feel from the dissolution of the friendship I believed to be the deepest and longest-lasting friendships I have ever had. After nearly fifteen years of friendship, a bond was broken and it ended. I'm heartbroken and it hurts a lot.
But, every time I try to think of something I would say to reach out, I come up with nothing, so that tells me it's not time. Maybe someday... but then again, it can never go back to what it was, and while I may be able to forgive, I will never be able to forget what happened, how it felt, what was said and done. As Rhett Butler said (in a story I still haven't seen (or read?!)-- oh well!), "What's broken is broken- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived."
So, yeah, I guess that change is inevitable. The best part is that change is like growth. All of it helps on this journey called life, and I suppose I wouldn't have it any other way. You live, you learn.
well, maybe i did
but even if i changed,
what's wrong with it?
// third eye blind
It's incredible to me the change that has occurred since... oh, well, about May, I suppose.
Obviously, things change. it's inevitable, and usually change is generally a good thing. Even when it seems impossible, there's always some little ray of light that lets you know that you'll make it out alive. If you're lucky, you'll see the sweet silver lining while you're still in the middle of it, still a part of the transition. At the very least, you'll see it as you look back on the old you, and you realize that all of the trouble was worth it because you made it to the other side just a little bit smarter, tougher, braver, stronger, happier....
I suppose I could recap the huge things that have made me who I am now, the things that I can actually pinpoint as an event that has impacted me within the last year. These events strike me because they were all hard. I usually can hear my mind telling me this little pearl of truth whenever I think something's scary, or hard, or bad, or it feels like a worse that feels too big: "it's not brave if you're not scared."
Last March, (which is, incidentally, about the time I began blogging...?), was a time of great loss. I hadn't experienced the type of loss that I encountered at that time previously in my life. The only person I was close to who passed away was my aunt, and I was in seventh grade when that happened. Not that that loss didn't hurt or was any less important (because that is something extremely significant as well), I just wasn't at an age or time in my life that I could actually live through the grief as an adult and cognitively process loss as I did at age 21. Within about a week of each other, my roommate's mother and my grandpa both passed away. Never in my life had I experienced the overwhelming feelings of sadness, helplessness and grief as I did last March. Loss changes a person.
Graduation. What a monumental experience. In the moment, I
didn't feel different; I didn't feel like a college graduate. Sure enough, though, the realization eventually sunk in that my friends would move away, we would grow up, get jobs, and start our real lives. It sunk in that I wouldn't be returning to the safe haven of friends, fun, an psuedo-real-life that college had been for four of the best years of my life. It was over.Getting my first job out of college was... an adventure. It was something I ended up completely hating and being a complete mistake. I learned from it, though; I learned what I didn't want to do.
I moved away from the town I'd lived in (practically) my whole life. (Okay, so I still come home every chance I get, but it still counts.) I moved to a town where I knew no one. I had never felt so alone in my life. On top of still trying to figure out what life was to be post-graduation, dealing with the deep emotional effects my job was having on me, and living in a town where I knew no one, it is no wonder I felt depressed.
I started my MBA. I love school. I truly love being a student. I complain about the homework and how "lame" classes are, but I really do love it. And I'm actually doing really, really, really well in school. It was one of those shining lights in the darkness from which it seemed I would never emerge.
Switching jobs was probably the turning point, the time when I started to feel like myself again. I was welcomed into a company that encourages professional development and offers growth opportunities, I joined a team of people who made me know what it feels like to be valued and appreciated, and I started to feel good at something again. It's definitely not what I see myself doing in the long run, but, for now, it's okay.
I have made a few friends in my new town. I love the people I work with, and I meet new people in every class I take. I don't hang out a whole lot with these new people but that could be just because I come back home any time I have a free moment outside of work and school.
I feel closer to my family than I ever have before. I can't imagine life without any one of them; my obnoxious brothers, my loving parents (all three of them), my wacky grandma, and my supportive extended family have done nothing but encourage me and provide unyielding love and support.
Lastly, I suppose, the change I'm most recently trying to cope with is the grief and sense of loss I feel from the dissolution of the friendship I believed to be the deepest and longest-lasting friendships I have ever had. After nearly fifteen years of friendship, a bond was broken and it ended. I'm heartbroken and it hurts a lot.
But, every time I try to think of something I would say to reach out, I come up with nothing, so that tells me it's not time. Maybe someday... but then again, it can never go back to what it was, and while I may be able to forgive, I will never be able to forget what happened, how it felt, what was said and done. As Rhett Butler said (in a story I still haven't seen (or read?!)-- oh well!), "What's broken is broken- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived."So, yeah, I guess that change is inevitable. The best part is that change is like growth. All of it helps on this journey called life, and I suppose I wouldn't have it any other way. You live, you learn.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
i hate sundays
i hate sundays.
monday is looming.
back to reality
back to the life i wish wasn't mine
back to the loneliness that is too overwhelming
back to feeling lost
back to a lesser version of myself
i want to work hard but it want to work for something i want,
something i believe in,
something where i know i'm making a difference,
where i'm valued.
i realized that i cry every time i come home.
that means i cry every weekend about how i wish my life was different, how i don't know how to fix it.
all i can think about is that quote from something. something like "you're sick of bad things happening? stop putting up with it and demand better."
i know that the only way things will get better is if i do something about it, but i just don't know where to begin. it's all just so overwhelming.
monday is looming.
back to reality
back to the life i wish wasn't mine
back to the loneliness that is too overwhelming
back to feeling lost
back to a lesser version of myself
i want to work hard but it want to work for something i want,
something i believe in,
something where i know i'm making a difference,
where i'm valued.
i realized that i cry every time i come home.
that means i cry every weekend about how i wish my life was different, how i don't know how to fix it.
all i can think about is that quote from something. something like "you're sick of bad things happening? stop putting up with it and demand better."
i know that the only way things will get better is if i do something about it, but i just don't know where to begin. it's all just so overwhelming.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
your life is an occasion. rise to it.
*Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium
So, she's gone.
My (okay, our...) beloved cat, Baby, is gone.
I miss her.
My heart hurts when I think about how I'll never see her again How I'll never see her truckin' along, wanting to be around people and being an attention-whore. How I'll never hear her insanely loud purr that never went away. How I'll never feel her lumpy fur in my fingers. How I'll never get to secretly snuggle with her when Tag's not paying attention. How I'll never get to feed her friskies again. How I'll never accidentally step on her because she somehow managed to always be right under my feet. How I'll never get to pretend to have conversations with her because that was our thing. How I'll never get bitten or meowed at because she's mad, or bored, or annoyed, or happy, or excited, or playful. She's gone, and that's the end.
Heartbroken.
Who knew?
I know she's a girl, but I really, really love this movie, and this quote seems to resonate with me so often.
I feel like there's just been so much loss this year. I really don't like it.
I'm just really, really sad. And sometimes when I think about it, I get upset because I'm so emotional over a cat, and that just feels silly. But then I know in my heart that she was so much more than just a cat. She was family, and saying goodbye to family is... impossible.
So, she's gone.
My (okay, our...) beloved cat, Baby, is gone.
I miss her.
My heart hurts when I think about how I'll never see her again How I'll never see her truckin' along, wanting to be around people and being an attention-whore. How I'll never hear her insanely loud purr that never went away. How I'll never feel her lumpy fur in my fingers. How I'll never get to secretly snuggle with her when Tag's not paying attention. How I'll never get to feed her friskies again. How I'll never accidentally step on her because she somehow managed to always be right under my feet. How I'll never get to pretend to have conversations with her because that was our thing. How I'll never get bitten or meowed at because she's mad, or bored, or annoyed, or happy, or excited, or playful. She's gone, and that's the end.
Heartbroken.
Who knew?
I know she's a girl, but I really, really love this movie, and this quote seems to resonate with me so often.
I feel like there's just been so much loss this year. I really don't like it.
I'm just really, really sad. And sometimes when I think about it, I get upset because I'm so emotional over a cat, and that just feels silly. But then I know in my heart that she was so much more than just a cat. She was family, and saying goodbye to family is... impossible.
"and i know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "he dies," but because of the life we saw prior to the words." | mr. magorium's wonder emporium
Monday, July 13, 2009
flooded with all this pain, knowin' i'll never hold you like i did before the storm
two things:
1.) i'm obsessed with twitter
2.) i'm psyched for harry potter tomorrow night
oh, also, the following:
- i'm strangely in love with the song "before the storm" by miley cyrus and nick jonas. (that makes me want to blow my own brains out, thankyouverymuch)
- im avoiding a friend request on facebook
- tam made me try on the six-carat diamond ring that will one day be mine
- i've been trying to think of things to tweet to dane cook so our notebook-esque love affair can finally begin
- im going to work with tam tomorrow like a five year old.
and finally, the saddest piece of news in my life, a tidbit that will devastate anyone who knows/knew her:
i'm fairly certain baby is dying.
xo
1.) i'm obsessed with twitter
2.) i'm psyched for harry potter tomorrow night
oh, also, the following:
- i'm strangely in love with the song "before the storm" by miley cyrus and nick jonas. (that makes me want to blow my own brains out, thankyouverymuch)
- im avoiding a friend request on facebook
- tam made me try on the six-carat diamond ring that will one day be mine
- i've been trying to think of things to tweet to dane cook so our notebook-esque love affair can finally begin
- im going to work with tam tomorrow like a five year old.
and finally, the saddest piece of news in my life, a tidbit that will devastate anyone who knows/knew her:
i'm fairly certain baby is dying.
xo
Sunday, June 7, 2009
today's the day!! vegas, round three
I leave for Las Vegas today.
I have to be in Grand Rapids by 1, so we can leave for the airport at 2:15.
I just can't believe it's here. Again. lol Yaaaaay!
deja jealous?
I have to be in Grand Rapids by 1, so we can leave for the airport at 2:15.
I just can't believe it's here. Again. lol Yaaaaay!
deja jealous?
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
music add
I'm currently listening to "The Lonely Goatherd" from The Sound Of Music on my itunes right now. It's safe to say I'm having a good time.
Also, I stumbled across some television genius last Sunday. This show I discovered is called Gene Simmons Family Jewels on A&E. Go ahead, laugh, judge, roll your eyes, scoff... go ahead. I don't care at all because I'm secure in my belief that it is quite possibly one of the best reality shows on TV right now. It's hilarious. It's not trashy. It's just mind-numbing and mindless enough. It allows for normal people to peer into the lives of a rock icon and his wacky family. It's awesome.
Side note: "music is my boyfriend" is now playing in itunes.
sweeeeeeeeeeeet kiwi!! ohhh maroon 5... adam levine's voice is so hawt.
The thing is, the show has a little something for everyone.
I'm not even mad that this whole post is basically a shameless plug for something as asanine as a reality tv show about Gene Simmons. It's that good.
Watch it. Season 4 premieres at 9pm on Sunday, June 7.
Unfortuantely, I will be on a plane to Las Vegas, so I will miss out. I have faith, however, that I will be able to catch it at a later date.
ps. Just listen to Escape by Enrique Iglesias. I had forgotten about that song. But it just came on, and I'm kinda really digging it. bahaha
Also, I stumbled across some television genius last Sunday. This show I discovered is called Gene Simmons Family Jewels on A&E. Go ahead, laugh, judge, roll your eyes, scoff... go ahead. I don't care at all because I'm secure in my belief that it is quite possibly one of the best reality shows on TV right now. It's hilarious. It's not trashy. It's just mind-numbing and mindless enough. It allows for normal people to peer into the lives of a rock icon and his wacky family. It's awesome.
My favorite is seeing what a complete nutjob Gene Simmons is. He's totally neurotic and out of touch with actual reality. Watching him babysit his two little nephews is probably my favorite thing they show. He lost one of the twins at the San Diego Zoo. Bahahaha. I love when celebrities are portrayed as normal; I love when they do "normal" people things, such as:
Side note: "music is my boyfriend" is now playing in itunes.
1.) Going to the zoo,
2.) Losing children while babysitting,
3.) Blowing a fuse in the house and not being able to figure out how to fix it so they just decide to walk around the house trying to locate the twins with the video camera set on night vision, then finally deciding to make a fort in one of the many rooms inthe gigantic house
sweeeeeeeeeeeet kiwi!! ohhh maroon 5... adam levine's voice is so hawt.
4.) Freaking out when the hydraulics start going off in the sweet ghetto SUV they are being forced to drive to a red carpet event....
5.) Running over a plastic big-wheel type thing in the driveway with their SUV (the one without hydraulics)
6.) Watching home videos with their family
The thing is, the show has a little something for everyone.
what a girl wants, what a girl needs, you let a girl know how much you care about her, i swear, you're the one who always kneeeeeeeeeeewwww, you knew, you knew, you knew, you knew... ohhhh i'm thankin' you for bein' there for meeee, yeah.... whatever keeps me in your arms is what i neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!
I'm not even mad that this whole post is basically a shameless plug for something as asanine as a reality tv show about Gene Simmons. It's that good.
Watch it. Season 4 premieres at 9pm on Sunday, June 7.
Unfortuantely, I will be on a plane to Las Vegas, so I will miss out. I have faith, however, that I will be able to catch it at a later date.
ps. Just listen to Escape by Enrique Iglesias. I had forgotten about that song. But it just came on, and I'm kinda really digging it. bahaha
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
things I wish were real
Well, well, well... what to talk about?
It's been a hot second since I last blogged, so I thought I'd make yet one more superfluous post.
Okay, here's an idea.
I've been watching Gilmore Girls lately on dvd, thinking that a complete series would be
sufficient and not leave me wanting more, like Grey's Anatomy does. Boy was I wrong! GG on dvd only makes me remember how insuficient the ending was, and makes me angry that the show was cancelled. The ending was too abrupt. It didn't end right. Upsetting. The good thing about the show is that it really is good. It has excellent writing and the story is just sooooo good. It makes me wish I lived in Star's Hollow. It makes me wish Star's Hollow was real.
Speaking of things I wish were real: Harry Potter.
I'm pretty sure I could go on for a very long time about aspects about that that I wish were real. I won't but I could. I'm just sayin'... I want in on that life. I sometimes pretend it is real, and that we just really do live in parallel worlds. Go ahead and think I'm weird, but I don't care; Harry Potter is awesome and I'm psyched for the movie this summer.
Mmmkay, that's all, I suppose. :-/
xoxo
Ps. I'm still very excited for the Vegas. shibuya!
It's been a hot second since I last blogged, so I thought I'd make yet one more superfluous post.
Okay, here's an idea.
I've been watching Gilmore Girls lately on dvd, thinking that a complete series would be
sufficient and not leave me wanting more, like Grey's Anatomy does. Boy was I wrong! GG on dvd only makes me remember how insuficient the ending was, and makes me angry that the show was cancelled. The ending was too abrupt. It didn't end right. Upsetting. The good thing about the show is that it really is good. It has excellent writing and the story is just sooooo good. It makes me wish I lived in Star's Hollow. It makes me wish Star's Hollow was real.Speaking of things I wish were real: Harry Potter.
I'm pretty sure I could go on for a very long time about aspects about that that I wish were real. I won't but I could. I'm just sayin'... I want in on that life. I sometimes pretend it is real, and that we just really do live in parallel worlds. Go ahead and think I'm weird, but I don't care; Harry Potter is awesome and I'm psyched for the movie this summer.Mmmkay, that's all, I suppose. :-/
xoxo
Ps. I'm still very excited for the Vegas. shibuya!
Monday, May 18, 2009
well now that i have nothing to do, my life seems so lame i don't have anything to blog about.
although, here are a couple thoughts in my brain currently:
1.) i heart katy perry
2.) i cannot wait to go to vegas. i'm so excited.
3.) i really still can't believe i abandoned sen and bri at mennas and walked with that boy whose name i honestly did not know until he told it to megan (bahaha)
4.) i changed my ringtone.
5.) i need to return my textbooks today
6.) i have to pee real bad
7.) sen and i watched chronicles of narnia: prince caspian last night
8.) i want pink sheets for my bed
kaythanksloveyoubye
although, here are a couple thoughts in my brain currently:
1.) i heart katy perry
2.) i cannot wait to go to vegas. i'm so excited.
3.) i really still can't believe i abandoned sen and bri at mennas and walked with that boy whose name i honestly did not know until he told it to megan (bahaha)
4.) i changed my ringtone.
5.) i need to return my textbooks today
6.) i have to pee real bad
7.) sen and i watched chronicles of narnia: prince caspian last night
8.) i want pink sheets for my bed
kaythanksloveyoubye
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
recreational drug use...?
(319): addddeeerrraaaallll.
(641): ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I've been wondering how using adderall would work out for me. I don't have any, but I know someone who could get me some in a jiffer. It would probably really help me focus and just get this paper written. I have one page written. And my references. it's supposed to be 15-17 pages long. this is not good.
It's thoughts like these that make the rational-me concerned.
The thing is that I've already done my research. I have all my sources. I got my introduction out of the way, so I basically have a road map for my paper. I just have to organize my thoughts; I think that's what probably has me the most overwhelmed. I feel like my brain is a jumbled mess most of the time, and trying to get some sort of outline makes me feel nervous.
Sar just made a shouting noise.
I feel like maybe I just need to get out of this space; maybe a change of scenery would help me focus. My desk right now is a distraction in and of itself.
1.) brightly colored paperclips that i could make into a giant chain.
2.) an abundant supply of markers, sharpies, and colored pencils, not to mention a few coloring books
3.) 3-D glasses and a pair of broken stunna shades
4.) reciepts and other random loose papers
5.) a puzzle with a note from sarah on the back of it from two years ago
6.) revolving picture frame of presh photos of le le and i
7.) a few napkins to do some really lame oragami
8.) my tool menorah
9.) a slice of pizza
10.) bobbypins and a couple ponytail holders.
11.) my cell phone
12.) my laptop, which obviously has firefox open. Originally i had a website open to help me write my reference page and in-text citations correctly, but now i have the following tabs open:
ugh. i should get my hands on some adderall. your thoughts?
(641): ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I've been wondering how using adderall would work out for me. I don't have any, but I know someone who could get me some in a jiffer. It would probably really help me focus and just get this paper written. I have one page written. And my references. it's supposed to be 15-17 pages long. this is not good.
It's thoughts like these that make the rational-me concerned.
The thing is that I've already done my research. I have all my sources. I got my introduction out of the way, so I basically have a road map for my paper. I just have to organize my thoughts; I think that's what probably has me the most overwhelmed. I feel like my brain is a jumbled mess most of the time, and trying to get some sort of outline makes me feel nervous.
Sar just made a shouting noise.
I feel like maybe I just need to get out of this space; maybe a change of scenery would help me focus. My desk right now is a distraction in and of itself.
1.) brightly colored paperclips that i could make into a giant chain.
2.) an abundant supply of markers, sharpies, and colored pencils, not to mention a few coloring books
3.) 3-D glasses and a pair of broken stunna shades
4.) reciepts and other random loose papers
5.) a puzzle with a note from sarah on the back of it from two years ago
6.) revolving picture frame of presh photos of le le and i
7.) a few napkins to do some really lame oragami
8.) my tool menorah
9.) a slice of pizza
10.) bobbypins and a couple ponytail holders.
11.) my cell phone
12.) my laptop, which obviously has firefox open. Originally i had a website open to help me write my reference page and in-text citations correctly, but now i have the following tabs open:
a.) FMyLife- FML: Your Everyday Life Stories
b.) texts from last night: february 2009
c.) research and documentation online (super useful, by the way, for different formats for citations
d.) Adderall wiki page
e.) obviously this site
f.) perez hilton, celebrity juice not from concentrate
ugh. i should get my hands on some adderall. your thoughts?
Monday, May 4, 2009
blogging vs. editing a paper...
Blogging is winning.
Actually, doing anything other than what I should be doing for finals is winning.
I'm going to try to keep this brief. However, brevity isn't really my thing, so, with that said, we'll see how this works out for me.
Okay, here's the deal:
1.) I first would like to apologize to everyone whose existence I cursed yesterday without his or her knowledge. Just throwing it out there so karma doesn't get me really good for that one. I was really pissed off and it seemed like the right choice in the moment. I didn't mean it. I love you all, despite the fact that you can be cunts sometimes.
2.) I really still want to take pictures by Sparty before Friday.
3.) I found a cardigan/sweater thing to go with my dress. Yay!
4.) I'm ready to return to the Vegas. June 7th needs to get here asap. (Three times in the span of one year doesn't indicate any sort of addiction to a specific city, does it?)
5.) Speaking of Las Vegas, I found this awesome thing on texts from last night bahahah it reminds me sliiiiiiiightly of a conversation Megan and/or Aleka and I could have:
I must edit this 22 page paper that my group and I have written. It's real bad. Here's what I'm dealing with: switching tenses in the middle of sentences/paragraphs, the use of pronouns in a research paper, fragments and run-on sentences.... I love school.
*dry heave*
xoxo
Actually, doing anything other than what I should be doing for finals is winning.
I'm going to try to keep this brief. However, brevity isn't really my thing, so, with that said, we'll see how this works out for me.
Okay, here's the deal:
1.) I first would like to apologize to everyone whose existence I cursed yesterday without his or her knowledge. Just throwing it out there so karma doesn't get me really good for that one. I was really pissed off and it seemed like the right choice in the moment. I didn't mean it. I love you all, despite the fact that you can be cunts sometimes.
2.) I really still want to take pictures by Sparty before Friday.
3.) I found a cardigan/sweater thing to go with my dress. Yay!
4.) I'm ready to return to the Vegas. June 7th needs to get here asap. (Three times in the span of one year doesn't indicate any sort of addiction to a specific city, does it?)
5.) Speaking of Las Vegas, I found this awesome thing on texts from last night bahahah it reminds me sliiiiiiiightly of a conversation Megan and/or Aleka and I could have:
(503): i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
(360): let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I must edit this 22 page paper that my group and I have written. It's real bad. Here's what I'm dealing with: switching tenses in the middle of sentences/paragraphs, the use of pronouns in a research paper, fragments and run-on sentences.... I love school.
*dry heave*
xoxo
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
agatha
agatha is gone.
we traded her in. tam got a new 2009 saturn vue and i got her white taurus, who i have yet to name. i have always liked tam's white taurus better than good ole aggie because it's a newer model, the heating/cooling system actually works properly, has a louder sound system... just a better set up. but i always had old reliable aggie waiting in the wings for me, all friendly and familiar.
now she's gone, and a part of my heart is gone with her.
(i'm taking in suggestions for white taurus's new name.)
we traded her in. tam got a new 2009 saturn vue and i got her white taurus, who i have yet to name. i have always liked tam's white taurus better than good ole aggie because it's a newer model, the heating/cooling system actually works properly, has a louder sound system... just a better set up. but i always had old reliable aggie waiting in the wings for me, all friendly and familiar.
now she's gone, and a part of my heart is gone with her.
(i'm taking in suggestions for white taurus's new name.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
