i hate sundays

i hate sundays.

monday is looming.
back to reality
back to the life i wish wasn't mine
back to the loneliness that is too overwhelming
back to feeling lost
back to a lesser version of myself

i want to work hard but it want to work for something i want,
something i believe in,
something where i know i'm making a difference,
where i'm valued.

i realized that i cry every time i come home.
that means i cry every weekend about how i wish my life was different, how i don't know how to fix it.

all i can think about is that quote from something. something like "you're sick of bad things happening? stop putting up with it and demand better."
i know that the only way things will get better is if i do something about it, but i just don't know where to begin. it's all just so overwhelming.