saturday night fever- not so much

it's a saturday night. the spartans won tonight. my friends are out. (hopefully no one is actually rioting.)

i'm home, alone. watching a julia roberts movie (something to talk about, with dennis quaid. he has a mullet in this movie. it's not very good, but i like it- the movie, not the mullet).

i was just thinking that i'm not even upset about it. i'm not sulking, i don't wish i was out having fun like everyone else. it's not like i was forgotten about or purposely uninvited, thank goodness. i like to believe that not much time is spent talking about me behind my back as well, though i know at least a little bit does every now and again. i'm not so vain to think it's a constant topic, how obnoxious i am or how i don't manage my emotions properly... i just know that it does indeed happen. it's bound to.

sometimes it feels good to be alone. being alone and being lonely are two different things; last night i felt lonely, tonight i'm just alone. times like these i feel as though i've escaped to a place that's quiet and somewhere i can feel completely in control.

the only problem with quiet is that it gets my mind reeling. i start to think about the future and my thoughts start to get jumbled. i begin feeling conflicted and the worry sets in.

this is rather pointless, and a bunch of mindless ramblings. i don't know where i was going with any of this or exactly what i wanted to write.

so please be careful with me,
i'm sensitive
and i'd like to stay that way.